Paul sears

Over the last year I’ve been writing and producing a podcast called paul now podcast, the original idea was to talk about the gay culture in DFW but that seems to fizzle out once Pride is over, as it does in most cities. So about four months ago I revamped my direction and decided to just talk about my experience living in Dallas, from the experience of a northeastern.

It’s not that gay culture is small here in DFW, it’s pretty large. It comes in all sizes and shapes, colors, positions. Whatever your taste is this place has it. Leather, bears, otters, military, twinks, you’ll find it here, and for the most part, it’s a very welcoming community.

But what is there to say on a weekly basis about a community that thrives when left to its own? The gay community lives akin to the rest of the human community. We want the same things as everyone. Seems self indulgent to talk about our community in a beer goggle fashion as if it’s the only one that matters. So I didn’t know where I wanted to take the podcast, I was either going to expand it or internalize it.

I chose to internalize it and make it all about me, and the city I’m in of course, and with that decision I changed the format and started to talk about my own experience living in this super red state. This city is largely blue. My progressive thoughts and options are often taken as silly to the people I tell. I get called a socialist and uneducated.

The educational institution I went to ranks 18 in the world. There are no Texas schools close to that. If my cares are for the people who have less than me, then I guess I’m a socialist. People like me are called humanitarians where I come from. This is something I have become more and more proud of as I watch this country become more greedy and deceitful.

I have been given many advances in this world. I hold a privilege I did’t ask for, and because of this I feel it’s my responsibility to hold myself in a manner that shows respect and empathy for everyone. This is something that’s been ingrained in me from my parents, my church and my community.

Theres a beauty in being humble. To me it’s a sense of feeling content with what I have. I try to balance a life of want and need and it’s hard at times. I am drawn to brighter and bigger things all the time. As I age I find restraint easier but the thrill of something new always haunts me. This is something I’ll have to comprise with living in the capitalist country I’m in.