Paul sears

She didn’t really, but it just happened to fall at the same time my birthday came around. It was a true treat to have new music from her. The last few albums have been a little hum drum for me so I didn’t go in with a whole heart. Once the first track got on it’s way, the lyrics, and piano, it was like heaven. I was connecting with her like I had once done many years ago. Tori’s music runs deep for me. I feel this album has circled it for me, I feel like her last albums were too mature for me, since I didn’t feel I was at a place in my life where I understood them, but this past year I have grown mountains and I’m looking at things differently.

I haven’t published anything in awhile, not because I don’t have anything to say, I have so much to say, but I’m filled with such anxiety over our current state of affairs. Everyday it’s something new, I don’t know if it’s because I’m getting older that I’m so effected by this or if it’s just really that bad right now. It was only a year ago I was living a blissful life, and maybe that was ignoranance, but I trusted 44 wasn’t leading this country down a dark path of no return, now I’m not so sure.

Weeks feel like months, months feel with years with this guy and his administration. Everyday he tweets out some bullshit that the media runs with. He’s like an old man who just can’t let things go. He gets mad at someone or something and just goes on and on about it till something new comes along to fill him with rage. It’s exhausting to me. It’s only been ten months, ten months!! Not even a year and I can’t remember what it was like before he came along. It feels like I’ve been living this nightmare for as long as I can remember.

I honestly didn’t think it would last this long. I thought for sure he would have been plucked out of office just as fast as he sat down. Who’s to say what the near future holds for him and his administration, but more so this country. It seems the damage has been done, even if he is cast away to the shadows the country is in a rough place. What we need is someone who can bring together the great divide that has been forming in this country long before Trump came into office. I wish I could say that this will all pass over, but I don’t see an easy way to move forward.

I don’t know what tomorrow brings, more negative news, more division, more hatred. I have a sinking feeling that it’s going to get much worse before it starts to get better.